Another great blog. Very helpful. I like the look of Habitica.
Month: May 2017
Autistic Regression and Fluid Adaptation
In my last post, I talked about my recent language difficulties and mentioned autistic regression. Sometimes called autistic burnout, autistic regression is a loss of skills or coping mechanisms.
Regression can refer to a specific set of skills or abilities:
progressively losing the ability to speak
deteriorating executive function
reduced memory capacity
loss of self-care capabilities
loss of social skills
reduced ability to tolerate sensory or social overload
It can also refer to a general loss of the ability to cope with life or to accomplish all of the necessary daily tasks of living.
Sometimes the loss is temporary–a period of a few weeks or months–after which a person regains the lost abilities. Other times the deterioration in skills or coping mechanisms takes place over years. It may be come permanent or semi-permanent, with skills being regained but not to the level at which they previously existed.
Often a period…
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Different Language
Yes, Yes, YES!!!
Some of these blog posts are difficult to write. Some are emotionally draining and massively triggering – I’m working on one at the moment that I’m going to have to do paragraph by paragraph because it’s so tough, but I’ll get there in the end, and it’s a post that needs to be written, so I shall persist. Some are about things I want to say and the thoughts are all in my head in concept form but my words aren’t always in a great place so it takes a lot of effort to translate them into readable format.
Some, like this one, are difficult because I’m working at the very limits of my knowledge about a subject that I only started studying a few months ago and I’m still trying to work out what everything means and to construct my own verbal definitions of concepts that I instantly recognised…
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Running away.
So, for the second weekend running, I have run away with my campervan to my haven, the beach.
Stress was running high, what with the unfortunate timing (sarcasm) of my break down and the stress of me and financial matters made my (former support) husband crack. So screw him, I upped and left in a torrent of swear words and fury and drove off into the dusk of the night sky, in my trusty VW campervan.
Yesterday was a very bad day. I have been having the occasional good days, whereby I get up and actually do housework for a maximum of an hour. An hour is exhausting, I kid you not, because I simply cannot just do a hash job. If I’m going to hoover/mop, everything will be pulled out and a thorough job will be executed. And when I am in the midst of the cleaning flurry, I then (as I always do with everything in life) notice something else that needs doing and start to clean with one hand, as my other hand finishes the mopping. And then I get a lecture (well meaning I guess, but in my current state of mind, bloody annoying and patronising, and I feel like screaming “You can preach like you’re a self-help book, BUT actually you have NO idea!!!!) A lecture around the fact that he’s surprised that I’m sweating and so out of breath and that all this ‘resting’ is not good for me and I’m getting unconditioned ?!?!?! WTF! But do you know What? I’m just too tired to get into any of it as I’ve already got too much s#@t going on.
So Yeah, this is where I’m at right now.
Over and out.
#breakdown #autisticburnout
Self-Loathing
Self-loathing that is so deep rooted from ones past. Ones natural default. What could possibly change this deep rooted way of thinking? CBT? Wonderful poem That resonates, thanks.
35 years old and finally understanding. 